NVC – Nonviolent Communication
As the name implies, this approach to communication emphasizes compassion as the motivation for action rather than fear, guilt, shame, blame, coercion, threat or justification for punishment. In other words, it is about getting what you want for reasons you will not regret later. These techniques allow you to make conscious choices about how you will respond whether you get what you want, or not. It is definitely NOT about guilt and tricking people into giving you what you want.
The skills are built on Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg’s application of Nonviolent Communication. The process of NVC encourages us to focus on what we and others are observing, how and why we are each feeling as we do, what our underlying needs are, and what each of us would like to have happen. These skills emphasize personal responsibility for our actions and the choices we make when we respond to others.
Non Violent Communication skills will assist you in dealing with major blocks to communication such as demands, diagnoses and blaming. In NVC trainings you will learn to express your feelings without attacking.
This will help minimize the likelihood of facing defensive reactions in others. The skills will help you make clear requests. They will help you receive critical and hostile messages without taking them personally, giving in, or losing self-esteem.
NVC is a clear and effective model for communicating in a way that is cooperative, conscious, and compassionate.
10 things we can do to contribute to internal, interpersonal, and organizational peace
[ 1 ] Spend some time each day quietly reflecting on how we would like to relate to ourselves and others.
[ 2 ] Remember that all human beings have the same needs.
[ 3 ] Check our intention to see if we are as interested in others getting their needs met as our own.
[ 4 ] When asking someone to do something, check first to see if we are making a request or a demand.
[ 5 ] Instead of saying what we DON’T want someone to do, say what we DO want the person to do.
[ 6 ] Instead of saying what we want someone to BE, say what action we’d like the person to take that we hope will help the person be that way.
[ 7 ] Before agreeing or disagreeing with anyone’s opinions, try to tune in to what the person is feeling and needing.
[ 8 ] Instead of saying “No,” say what need of ours prevents us from saying “Yes.”
[ 9 ] If we are feeling upset, think about what need of ours is not being met, and what we could do to meet it, instead of thinking about what’s wrong with others or ourselves.
[ 10 ] Instead of praising someone who did something we like, express our gratitude by telling the person what need of ours that action met.
The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) would like there to be a critical mass of people using Nonviolent Communication language so all people will get their needs met and resolve their conflicts peacefully.