Conflict handling process between Milla and Daniel

posted by Milla, made by Daniel and Milla

The sun and the earth with its magnetic fields. Trying to get a perspective on things.

After 5 days of talking there’s an agreement. It will start with a skype conversation in December, and continue from then on as is, or with possible adjustments after evaluating how it’s working out for us:

Conflict handling process between Milla and Daniel

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  • we are going to have skype conversations

  • Daniel will notify Milla by SMS about the possible times for talks in advance (meaning at least 5 days)

  • Daniel will send an SMS monthly to inform Milla if he cannot find a computer

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  • the talking time will be shared equally: Milla talks, Daniel listens, then Daniel talks and Milla listens

  • the person listening is given space to reflect on what they hear the other person say throughout the talk

  • we try to stay away from expressing own opinions and ideas while reflecting (meaning not starting to give advice or state what is right or wrong about what is said)

  • the focus and the space is for the person talking

  • the reflection is there to check whether there is an understanding and it is up to the person talking to decide if they feel heard or not

  • after the talks there is feedback time for both to express how the talk felt like

  • the length of the talk is 90 minutes comprising of 2 rounds each 25 minutes with 20 minutes of feedback time following them

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  • if someone is triggered during the interaction, this person can choose to end the talk and postpone it or ask for time-out

  • postponed talks will be continued at the following occasion

  • if there is a time-out, the suggested time is 10 minutes, but it’s up to the person who asked for it, to decide how long the break will be

  • after the time-out the person who asked for it, suggests who will be heard first, if we can´t agree on who comes first, then we decide randomly (for instance by flipping a coin)

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