Feeling helpless & hopeless, asking for support (NVC Link)

by Milla — she=he

I’m taking small improving steps, and asking for help is one of those steps i would like to learn to take with ease. Today i requested an empathy chat on NVC Link (skype). I got to speak with Chris for some hours and we practiced a role-play.

I’m probably having a difficult talk a few days from now, and I’m scared of losing myself in reactive behavior. It was a relief acting out the things I find hard to hear, and I could definitely use more preparation before entering the talk that I fear.

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[13:54:22] feministsister: menu
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[13:54:25] |nvclink (42 online): An introduction is available at http://www.cnvc.org/NVCLinkIntro?b=591
Type    ‘chat’          to request a 20 min one-to-one chat on any subject
Type    ’empathy’       to request a 20 min one-to-one empathy chat
Type    ‘practice’      to request a 20 min one-to-one practice chat
Type    ‘voice’      to request a 20 min one-to-one voice chat
Type    ‘ask’           to ask a question and I’ll find someone to answer it
   —————————————————–
Type:
    ‘list’            list of members
   ‘invite’         invite your skype/email contacts to join nvclink
   ‘settings’      set your profile and settings
   developer –  request support/give feedback to the developer
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[13:55:32] feministsister: empathy
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[13:55:32] |nvclink (42 online): It takes about  up to 15 min. to find an available partner.
You can cancel your request during the search, but canceling is only for unforeseen events
Do you have that time to wait? (yes/no)
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[13:55:41] feministsister: yes
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[13:55:42] |nvclink (42 online): To share samples of using NVC we would like to publish chat logs.
Would you like the chat to be
    public – to have this chat published as Milla/finland
    anonymous – to have this chat published anonymously
    private – to avoid having this chat published
    public/anonymous/private?
    (you can change your preference during the chat as well)
[13:56:02 | Edited 13:58:38] |nvclink (42 online): Waiting for reply from 7 people.*
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[13:56:03] feministsister: public
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[13:56:03] |nvclink (42 online): Type ‘ringme’ if you want to receive an alert via a ring you when the request is accepted.
(type ‘end’ to cancel your request)
[13:58:53] |nvclink (43 online): userxXx Chris/britain  is chatting with you.
[13:58:53] |nvclink (43 online): Type at any time during the chat:
    voice – to switch to voice chat
    video – to switch to video chat
    end – when the chat finishes.
    block – to block this user
Chats may be monitored to avoid abuse
[13:58:53] |nvclink (43 online): Your chat partner Chris time limit for this chat is 20 min.
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[13:59:09] feministsister: hello chris?
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[13:59:18] |nvclink (42 online): Chris : hello Milla how are you today
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[14:00:05] feministsister: difficult. not really knowing what to begin with. i’m mostly by myself. so i have a heap of undealt aching longings. and find communication with other people very confusing and tiring in general.
[14:00:34] feministsister: but now. it’s that i’m going to have a talk with a person that i’ve been trying to get a talk with for a few years.
[14:00:49] feministsister: and the hopelessness around that.
[14:01:00] feministsister: maybe that’s it.
[14:01:10] feministsister: hopelessness around connection.
[14:01:18] feministsister: how are you?
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[14:01:21] |nvclink (42 online): Chris : Are you feeling hopeless because you need connection with the person and maybe afraid they won’t accept you?
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[14:01:48] feministsister: i’m afraid that there is no understanding. either way.
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[14:02:06] |nvclink (42 online): Chris : I am doing good btw. Thank you for asking.
[14:02:16] |nvclink (42 online): Chris : So you’re afraid you won’t be understood.
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[14:02:18] feministsister: i’m afraid to live in a world where there is no real understanding.
[14:02:59] feministsister: are you saying that you’re doing good just because, or do you really mean it?
[14:03:13] feministsister: just checking.
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[14:03:17] |nvclink (42 online): Chris : so could you be scared that your need for empathy won’t be met?
[14:03:32] |nvclink (42 online): Chris : No I’m genuinely doing good because my need for relaxation is being met. 🙂
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[14:03:39] feministsister: cool
[14:04:15] feministsister: i don’t know about empathy. what do you mean by that? that i won’t be heard?
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[14:04:45] |nvclink (42 online): Chris : Yes, that others won’t be able to genuinely understand you
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[14:05:24] feministsister: yes, and as i said, that i won’t be able to understand them.
[14:06:05] feministsister: i have a fear of not being able to stay calm. get disconnected from myself.
[14:06:28] feministsister: and in the long term. that i won’t be able to have any close meaningful relations with people.
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[14:06:51] |nvclink (41 online): Chris : that must make you feel anxious because you need control over yourself
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[14:07:11] feministsister: do you have some ways that you re-connect with yourself when you’re triggered?
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[14:08:11] |nvclink (42 online): Chris : well if I’m triggered in the immediate, I like to stop and breathe for a moment and observe how I’m feeling and the need behind that feeling
[14:08:56] |nvclink (42 online): Chris : I think it also helps if you engage in some sort of practice before the trigger like prayer, meditation, visualization, etc. because it helps to center you and make you more aware of your emotions
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[14:09:14] feministsister: what type of visualization?
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[14:10:15] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : maybe visualizing your upcoming encounter with the person, how you want it to go, and then the worst possible situation for it to go, and how you would respond to each
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[14:10:42] feministsister: ah. that’s helpful. worst case scenario might be useful to go through.
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[14:11:34] |nvclink (41 online): Chris : I find worst possible situations rarely happen so they prepare you for something worse than what you’ll probably actually encounter, but you’ll be prepared even if it does happen
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[14:12:17] feministsister: well. i’ve been in many worst case scenarios already with this person. so i figure it can’t get any worse than it already has been.
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[14:12:31] |nvclink (41 online): Chris : if it would help, I would be willing to roleplay the conversation with you
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[14:12:57] feministsister:how much time do you have? there’s 8 minutes left of the 20 that was offered.

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[14:13:12] |nvclink (41 online): Chris : I can extend it beyond that
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[14:13:40] feministsister: ok. so we could try a bit. i don’t know what to begin with. how to play it out.
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[14:13:48] |nvclink (41 online): Chris : if it cuts us off, we can message again manually
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[14:14:02] feministsister: ok.
[14:14:20] feministsister: do you have any suggestions of how to /what to start with?
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[14:14:29] |nvclink (41 online): Chris : well, I’ll play the jackal role, so I’ll need a bit of background and context on the conversation
# 4 min left to your chat partner time limit, please respect it.

[14:14:45] |nvclink (40 online): Chris :and I”ll also need to know what you think the worse case scenario will be

# 4 min left to your chat partner time limit, please respect it.
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[14:15:34] feministsister: how do i switch so i can message you outside this chat program
[14:15:36] feministsister: ?
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[14:16:14] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : well I’m on Skype, or I’ll just reconnect to you maually after it disconnects us
# 2 min left to your chat partner time limit, please respect it.
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[14:17:07] feministsister: i’m getting these “# 2 min left to your chat partner time limit, please respect it.” so i figure now could be a good time to start a chat elsewhere. are you okay with that?
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[14:17:35] |nvclink (40 online): Chris :It will let us reconnect. Don’t worry. 🙂

# 1 min left to your chat partner time limit, please respect it.
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[14:17:41] feministsister: okay.
[14:18:32] feministsister: it’s hard. i don’t know how to sum up the situation.
[14:20:26] feministsister: it’s someone who offered me support in a conflict situation. offering solidarity. has problems with male chauvinist behavior. has had mulitiple relations going with many persons, and has lied about it to some, and to others just leaving them hanging until it for some reason feels okay speaking with them again.
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[14:20:27] |nvclink (40 online): # Connection Disconnected
# Your chat partner can choose to reconnect
# You can type ‘chat’ to find a new chat partner.
[14:20:34] |nvclink (40 online): # your chat partner reconnected the chat time with no limits
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[14:20:49] feministsister: can you see me?
[14:20:53] feministsister: read me?
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[14:20:59] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : yes I see you 🙂
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[14:21:13] feministsister: okay. so did you get some of the description?
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[14:21:38] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : I think it cut us off before the description. Would you mind copying and pasting it for me again?
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[14:21:53] feministsister: [14:17] feministsister:

<<< okay.

it’s hard. i don’t know how to sum up the situation.
it’s someone who offered me support in a conflict situation. offering solidarity. has problems with male chauvinist behavior. has had mulitiple relations going with many persons, and has lied about it to some, and to others just leaving them hanging until it for some reason feels okay speaking with them again.
[14:22:15] feministsister: so we weren’t really in touch for so long.
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[14:22:44] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : so do you feel betrayed because you need honesty from this person?
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[14:23:54] feministsister: maybe more mutuality and consistency. honesty is a part of that. but i can’t really say honesty, cause that for me could mean that someone is just changing their mind constantly and say whatever rude degrading thing their thinking.
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[14:24:28] |nvclink (39 online): Chris : I see, that can be frustrating when someone isn’t consistent
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[14:24:40] feministsister: i would have wanted the support that was offered intially.
[14:25:03] feministsister: i lost control completely.
[14:25:20] feministsister: completely de-humanized this person.
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[14:25:56] |nvclink (38 online): Chris : do you feel guilty because you wanted to connect with the person better than you did?
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[14:26:39] feministsister: no. more overwhelmed and helpless. crazy and alone.
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[14:27:20] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : I see. so more overwhelmed and hopeless, and also lonely, because you need connection with them
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[14:27:51] feministsister: i lost track of your initial suggestion. you wanted some background and a situation? and you would play this person? what kind of info do you need?
[14:28:24] feministsister: not connection with that person. it’s about the people around. how they react.
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[14:29:07] |nvclink (38 online): Chris : I think I’m understanding the situation a bit now. The best way would be to imagine what you think the worst possible response the person could give  would be after you go through the four steps of NVC
[14:29:56] |nvclink (38 online): Chris : and then go through the steps of NVC. I’ll respond with the worst possible response and you can continue from there
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[14:30:07] feministsister: i was told by one person that i had raped this guy. and that wasn’t really supportive to hear, or to have that type of discussion when i myself had tried to get a talk about lack of consent in situations where we had been sexual. it was just scary-crazy-weird. and very lonely. i would have wanted support from the people around. not necessarily connection with this person.
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[14:30:37] |nvclink (39 online): Chris : ok so you really needed support rather than connection
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[14:30:58] feministsister: well i guess connection is a part of support.
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[14:31:10] |nvclink (39 online): Chris : it definitely can be
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[14:31:35] feministsister: hmm. i didn’t understand your suggestion. ‘after i go through the four steps of nvc’
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[14:31:54] |nvclink (39 online): Chris : how familiar are you with NVC?
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[14:31:58] feministsister: you mean that i express myself to this person?
[14:32:00] feministsister: ofnr
[14:32:22] feministsister: and you are this person and react to what i say?
[14:32:48] feministsister: (ofnr was my ‘explanation’ that ‘yes, i understand the four steps’)
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[14:32:58] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : ok 🙂
[14:33:26] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : yes, I’ll react as the person and you basically keep trying to empathize  with me
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[14:33:45] feministsister: should i give more instructions?
[14:34:11] feministsister: or we just start?
[14:34:39] feministsister: it’s a weird game.
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[14:34:41] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : well, tell me what you think the worst personal response from the person would be and then you can start with the four steps as you imagine it would go if you were approaching them and bringing up the subject
[14:36:02] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : sorry worst possible response
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[14:36:36] feministsister: worst possible response: “your reality is distorted” and “that happened a long time ago, get over it” and “i have tons of people i can talk feminism with – the reason the men’s group doesn’t want to talk with you is because you are you”
[14:37:32] feministsister: and after this you wanted me to? please take it step by step. cause i’m not really following what you are asking me to do.
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[14:38:32] |nvclink (41 online): Chris : ok now start with the four steps, imagining I’m her. Tell me your observation of the situation, how that makes you feel, the need behind it, and the request you want me to fulfill, just as you would tell her if she were in front of you right now
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[14:39:06] feministsister: i imagine that you are daniel?
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[14:39:14] |nvclink (41 online): Chris : yes
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[14:39:17] feministsister: ok
[14:40:15] feministsister: i feel empty almost dead inside. there’s a lot of hurt coming up.
[14:41:03] feministsister: i’ve spent years trying to get these topics talked over, and i notice that they are not a priority for you.
[14:43:16] feministsister: that’s painful for me. a pain that feels crazy. hopelessness that’s strong. and then i lose control over myself. i react in ways i see are hurtful for you too.
[14:45:07] feministsister: i guess it’s difficult for me that you wish to offer me support in the conflict i was involved with, and that when it’s really needed i can’t find a way that speaks to you in a way you can understand.
[14:46:46] feministsister: i don’t know what to say? could you say what’s going on for you when you hear me say this?
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[14:47:07] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : ok I was about to make sure you were done. 🙂
[14:47:26] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : Would you mind if I offered some suggestions on how to refine this?
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[14:48:10] feministsister: is this what you would say as daniel? (i’m assuming not. just checking so i understand where we are at)
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[14:48:24] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : no I’m speaking as Chris right now heh
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[14:48:44] feministsister: say what you wish
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[14:49:21] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : I’m assuming this is your observation; correct me if I’m wrong: [12:40:50 PM] |nvclink (40 online): i’ve spent years trying to get these topics talked over, and i notice that they are not a priority for you.
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[14:49:51] feministsister: yes. cause daniel has stated clearly that they are not.
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[14:50:55] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : ok, let’s refine it just a bit. When you offer your observation of the situation, you want to make it as specific as possible, so it’s more specific to give an exact time frame rather than a general “years”
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[14:51:28] feministsister: from 2008 until this year
[14:52:19] feministsister: or probably more intensely from 2009
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[14:52:56] |nvclink (39 online): Chris : ok. What you could say, then, is, “I have tried to talk to you about the way I perceive you’ve been treating me since 2008, and you told me it is not a priority for you.”
[14:53:49] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : does this sound acceptable to you?
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[14:54:13] feministsister: okay i hear that. i’m puzzled though. hoping to get clarity by you continuing. i’m also a bit confused that you interrupted the role-play for advice.
[14:54:23] feministsister: but i’m okay with you leading this.
[14:54:32] feministsister: waiting for what’s next.
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[14:55:01] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : well, I want to make sure we’re clear about the script before we go on. 🙂
[14:55:37] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : there’s some phrases that could be interpreted as jackal words
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[14:55:55] feministsister: Daniel, I have tried to talk with you about the way i perceive you’ve been treating me since 2008, and how you’ve said that this is not a priority for you.
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[14:57:02] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : (how does that make you feel and what is your need behind that feeling)
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[14:59:16] feministsister: frustration. sadness. hurt. tiredness. needs: to provide clarity.

[14:59:38] feministsister: hopeless.
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[14:59:55] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : (And what is your request for Daniel?)
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[15:01:09] feministsister: provide clarity for me. needs: ease, support.
[15:01:23] feministsister: clarity in how to arrange this talk.
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[15:02:40] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : (OK, I’ll being the role-play with one of your worst possible responses)
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[15:02:43] feministsister: the talk i will have with daniel in a few days. related to a talk that’s been spread out since 2008, mostly talking about not wanting to talk.
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[15:02:59] |nvclink (40 online): Chris : That happened a long time ago. Get over it.
[15:03:25] |nvclink (41 online): Chris : (Now try to empathize with how Daniel is feeling and try to find the need behind it)
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[15:04:34] feministsister: So you would like to understand why i can’t let go of this?
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[15:05:31] |nvclink (41 online): Chris : Yes, I got over it a long time ago but you just keep bringing it up. I don’t understand why you keep bringing it back up! It’s like you want to make sure I don’t forget it!
[15:06:57] |nvclink (43 online): Chris : (Just keep empathizing for a moment 🙂 )
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[15:07:57] feministsister: So it’s painful for you to have this conversation? You would really like for this to be easier?
[15:08:38] feministsister: (chris can you keep in the role until the end. and we both keep in our roles until some point and that we have the other talk after. it’s weird for me jumping back and forth)
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[15:09:37] |nvclink (45 online): Chris : It’s painful because I wish things were different. I don’t like the situation we’re in now anymore than you do!
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[15:10:42] feministsister: So you would like to be heard in that this is painful for you too? And that you’re really longing for a change?
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[15:12:25] |nvclink (45 online): Chris : yes, you’re not the only one that feels. I wish things could be like they used to as well, but I wonder if they can after how we both acted.
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[15:13:11] feministsister: chris. i’m interrupting the role-play cause this is not what daniel would say/want
[15:13:51] feministsister: “i wish things could be like the used to” is not something daniel would say
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[15:14:06] |nvclink (44 online): Chris : what do you think he would say?
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[15:15:59] feministsister: i’m over this. you have your reality i have mine. i’m satisfied with my understanding of things. i’m only here because of you, i don’t really have any space in this, and i don’t really want to share anything with you. i was traumatized by this. and now i want to move on, and i have more important stuff to do in my life.
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[15:17:36] |nvclink (41 online): Chris : do you think he may be feeling uneasy because he needs to protect himself from anymore pain?
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[15:18:18] feministsister: i think there are a million possibilities and that i don’t know and that i probably never will.
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[15:18:48] |nvclink (43 online): Chris : so do you feel scared you’ll never understand him?
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[15:19:44] feministsister: partly yes, cause it brings distance to all relations in my life. and that fear is on equal level with not managing to make myself understood to others.
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[15:21:06] |nvclink (44 online): Chris : and you’d like to empathize with him and understand how he’s feeling?
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[15:22:21] feministsister: partly yes. and with myself there as well on an equal level. that i understand why i entered that hell. lost control. continued to rage and weep.
[15:23:07] feministsister: it’s equally important for me to be seen.
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[15:24:00] |nvclink (44 online): Chris : would you like to try and find the need behind what you typed to me as him then as you were doing during the role play?
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[15:24:38] feministsister: i can be daniel, and you can be me or yourself?
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[15:24:59] |nvclink (44 online): Chris : we could do that, if that would help you
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[15:25:19] feministsister: so i could start with: Your reality is distorted.
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[15:26:00] |nvclink (44 online): Chris : Do you feel upset because you are afraid I’m not understanding you?
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[15:26:42] feministsister: No. It doesn’t matter to me. I know how things are. You have your reality i have mine. I’m okay with that.
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[15:27:43] |nvclink (44 online): Chris : so are you feeling tired because you need some completion between us?
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[15:28:19] feministsister: I just want you to get over your hurt. I don’t understand what i have to do about that.
[15:29:01] feministsister: And you talk way too much. So sure i’m tired.
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[15:30:02] |nvclink (44 online): Chris : so you’re frustrated because you need peace?
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[15:31:40] feministsister: Yeah. And you don’t see that i couldn’t things any differently than i did. I’m dependent on the people that pushed you out. there was nothing i could do. And the stuff that i do is really valuable, i care for people who are on the fringe of society and you just go on and on about how you hate sexist men.
[15:32:15] feministsister: You never talk about anything else. You’re ignorant.
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[15:32:42] |nvclink (43 online): Chris : so you feel scared because you need the friendship of these men need to feel like you belong?
[15:33:04] |nvclink (43 online): Chris : *and need to feel like you belong
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[15:34:10] feministsister: No. I don’t have any control over other people – people do whatever they do, there’s nothing i can do to change that, and having those discussions were painful for me too, and i just want to help people and do something useful.
[15:34:28] feministsister: I don’t think you appreciate that. That you just talk about sexism all the time.
[15:34:41] feministsister: There are other people suffering in this world you know.
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[15:34:57] |nvclink (43 online): Chris : so you need to have purpose in your life and need to know that your relationships are contributing to your life
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[15:34:59] feministsister: People shouldn’t be freezing out on the streets just cuase their sexist.
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[15:35:28] |nvclink (44 online): Chris : and you need understanding for your position
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[15:36:15] feministsister: Hell yes. And you’re just taking energy away from me. Stop talking so much. Maybe i shouldn’t talk with you now. Maybe i’ll talk with you later. Some months from now. Maybe. I don’t know.
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[15:37:17] |nvclink (44 online): Chris : so you need reassurance I’ll not keep trying to force these issues on you?
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[15:37:51] feministsister: Yeah. We’re not in a relationship. I just want to move on.
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[15:38:23] |nvclink (44 online): Chris : so you need acceptance that the relationship is over?
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[15:38:55] feministsister: Yes. I keep repeating that i don’t want you over and over again. Don’t you get it. Stop talking.
[15:39:16] feministsister: What happened happened. I am what i am.
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[15:39:36] |nvclink (44 online): Chris : so would you like reassurance I’ve heard your needs?
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[15:39:45] feministsister: what are needs?
[15:40:04] feministsister: what are you talking about?
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[15:40:37] |nvclink (44 online): Chris : let me rephrase that: would you like reassurance I’ve heard what you want between us?
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[15:41:48] feministsister: yes. it doesn’t matter how many times you say it. i don’t trust you.
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[15:42:20] |nvclink (43 online): Chris : so you need to be able to trust me?
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[15:43:16] feministsister: yes. i don’t want to be with you. i’m over and done with. i’m just here to help you out in whatever way i can. this is not for me. this is for you. so that you can move on cause you’re human too.
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[15:44:30] |nvclink (43 online): Chris : so you need to know that I’ve accepted the end of this?
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[15:45:40] feministsister: yes. and that we have different realities and that that’s just the way it is. and that i don’t want to share with you.
[15:45:57] feministsister: but i’m here to help you.
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[15:46:23] |nvclink (43 online): Chris : so you would like to support me?
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[15:46:59] feministsister: but not right now cause i’m busy. and there’s all that talking going on. and you don’t see how privileged you are. you’re so ignorant.
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[15:47:36] |nvclink (43 online): Chris : so you would like me to consider your feelings as well?
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[15:48:27] feministsister: yes. but there’s no space for me.
[15:48:44] feministsister: i don’t want to share. you traumatized me.
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[15:49:04] |nvclink (43 online): Chris : You need reassurance that I won’t hurt you again?
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[15:49:05] feministsister: you only think about yourself. you don’t understand how hurt i was.
[15:49:31] feministsister: no. i want you to speak your mind.
[15:49:48] feministsister: don’t spare your words.
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[15:49:54] |nvclink (43 online): Chris : so you need me to be honest with you?
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[15:50:25] feministsister: i just want you to stop asking all these questions. just tell me what i can do so i can move on.
[15:51:16] feministsister: how can i help you? am i only here to help you? are you using me?
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[15:51:23] |nvclink (44 online): Chris : Well since you said you are busy now, would you be willing to have coffee with me on Wednesday so I can tell you how I feel?
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[15:52:07] feministsister: i don’t live where you live. and i’m leaving anyways and won’t have internet access for some time. busy busy.
[15:52:42] feministsister: Chris, i’m okay ending the roleplay.
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[15:52:42] |nvclink (44 online): Chris : would you be willing to call me on Wednesday, then, so we can discuss this?
[15:52:59] |nvclink (44 online): Chris : fair enough. And I have to warn you, he may not be willing to talk anymore
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[15:53:14] feministsister: How was this for you?
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[15:53:17] |nvclink (43 online): Chris : but it doesn’t hurt to ask
[15:53:43] |nvclink (43 online): Chris : I think it gave some clarity for me into how hurt he must be feeling
[15:53:53] |nvclink (43 online): Chris : Did it help you at all?
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[15:54:35] feministsister: maybe as an outlet of not ‘having to’ be in the role of the one guessing. cause i’ve done that many times.
[15:54:55] feministsister: so it was sort of a relief just playing out that part.
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[15:55:09] |nvclink (44 online): Chris : I see. That can be frustrating when you feel like you’re the only one trying to connect
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[15:55:59] feministsister: And at the same time trying to understand that for this person it is absolutely real that there is no trust to believe that there would be any understanding.
[15:56:56] feministsister: yeah. thanks for taking the time.
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[15:57:13] |nvclink (43 online): Chris : No problem. I was glad to. 🙂
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[15:57:41] feministsister: are you okay with me copy pasting this talk and posting it on a blog i have?
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[15:57:46] |nvclink (43 online): Chris : if you feel you need to role play it some more, feel free to chat with me again, or you can type “practice” and the system will find you another chat partner
[15:57:49] |nvclink (43 online): Chris : absolutely
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[15:58:36] feministsister: cool. thanks for offering support. if i’m brave enough i will accept. cause i need it. i’m meeting with this person in a few days.
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[15:59:10] |nvclink (44 online): Chris : ah yeah that can be scary knowing there’s a meeting coming up.
[15:59:37] |nvclink (44 online): Chris : I’m in Britain so I’m almost on the same time zone you are. Feel free to message me if you need it. 🙂
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[15:59:47] feministsister: yeah. and scary knowing my own reactions. wanting to get away from that.
[16:00:08] feministsister: ok. is there anything else you would like to say/ share before ending the chat?
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[16:00:18] |nvclink (43 online): Chris : yeah I’m sure your need for self-protection is kicking in big time.
[16:01:08] |nvclink (43 online): Chris : I’m glad you got some benefit out of the chat and met some needs. 🙂
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[16:01:11] feministsister: yeah. for sure. which is like kicking myself, cause it doesn’t really help me when i’m just reacting to whatever triggers me.
[16:01:39] feministsister: yes. again. thanks for just being out there and offering support to random people 🙂
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[16:02:06] |nvclink (44 online): Chris : Just a suggestion too: if the conversation doesn’t go as you hope either from your end or his, you can always come on and play it over as you wish it had gone too
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[16:02:08] feministsister: take care, may your need for relaxation be met 🙂
[16:02:12] feministsister:
.
[16:02:21] |nvclink (42 online): Chris : no problem. glad I could help. 🙂
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One Response

  1. […] the conversations to have any meaning for me, I suggested when we started over, for Daniel to read an online text chat that I had had a few days earlier with a stranger on NVC Link, a messenger-system where people can ask for empathy, chats and practice. I had ended up doing a […]

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