Hi Hilde

by Milla — she=he (this is a response to Email from Hilde)

"Hi Hilde"

hello hilde,

what i hear from your email is that the exchange on SynergyCommunication and Pondering NVC last summer, shook you up quite a bit, and left you wondering for a long time about human interaction and why it’s so hard to find more harmonious ways of relating to one another. you’re longing to find common humanity, and to understand the many emotional responses and reactions we can have when speaking with one another – it’s not enough for you to know that there are needs at the root – you want to find a way to be more balanced and at peace – and analyzing the self helps you with this – you believe that knowing yourself and your own triggers will make the world more understandable and less disconcerting – you would be able to feel more safe. not so alone.

i hear that you would wish for me to engage in a talk on the matters mentioned above.

i also hear that you would wish for me to be more clear with what i mean when i say that i wish for vulnerability.

could you say if you recognize yourself in the description above?

if i got a weird perception of what you were trying to say, i would appreciate you correcting me or adding information, this would help me experiencing that there’s real understanding and not just two persons talking past one another.

i’m okay with talking through the material/s you’ve sent so far, i can read it through and engage in a talk with you, if this is what you wish for, what’s important for me before we start such a talk, and before i start answering questions about what vulnerability means to me,

would be for us to talk about what would make us feel safe in this talk, i want to know concretely what you would want to feel safe speaking with me, and i would like you to hear me out on what i would want and need. i would like for us to work out an agreement on how to deal with conflict, if something such comes up.

would this be okay with you? — here’s an example of what i mean.

i will be away for a week or two, after which i’m ready to continue this talk with you.

take care,


ps. i’m trying to figure out ways that would feel more connecting for me. i tried to find a way to record webcam as a response to your email, hoping for ease on my part, and also that voice and image would possibly take a bit of the ‘edge’ (the manifold interpretations) that often accompanies the written word. I’m hoping to get webcam-recordings working later. Which might make it easier for us to connect. Or at least that i would feel more relaxed in trying to connect this way – recording my responses and posting them on my blog – sending them to your email as a link.

in general: if you’re interested in speaking on skype, then this would be a more a more fun and efficient option for me than writing/reading emails.


2 Responses

  1. […] following is an email by Hilde, following this email, sent by […]

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