Email from Hilde

posted by Milla – she=he, written by Hilde

Colorful number nine, of ten in the Rorschach inkblot test.

subject line:

“In reply to your last blog entry.”

Hi Milla,

I am choosing to send you this email, but please feel free to put it on
your blog. I just don’t feel comfortable navigating on that place, it
doesn’t work very intuitively for me. If you reply, please send me an
email, that will make things a lot easier for me.

I first wanted to find a state of equanimity before responding to you.
I think I have now.

I would like to tell you briefly what brought me to write to you to
begin with. After the exchanges on the Yahoo discussion groups ended
last summer, I continued to feel puzzled from time to time, wanting to
understand why things went the way they went. In fact this dynamic was
something I had never whitnessed before and the
analyser/puzzler/learner in me holds a strong belief that life and the
world are safe as long as I can understand. Then towards the end of the
year I discovered the Inner Empathy site and suddenly I started to see
a way to understand what happened in those group exchanges. I saw how
when a particular part is active in one person, it can trigger the same
part in another person and how an internal conflict between parts, can
be projected on another person etc. I am not suggesting that anyone in
particular was responsable for all the triggering, in fact it just
happens all the time between people. Of course I am not expecting
everyone to agree with or even have an interest in this theory of parts
psychology but if you are interested and with the purpose of conveying
a theory I am still in the process of assimilating myself with
sufficient accuracy,  here is a link to an outlline of IFS:
http://www.selfleadership.org/outline-of-the-Internal-family-systems-model.html

So I then started to check out your blog from time to time, wanting to
share this with you because I it seemed just and because it would add
to my sense of safety if you’d end up sharing my view. I started at
least 3 letters but never sent them because I was afraid of being
triggered and having to deal with those triggers. Then last week I
noticed Jonathan had written to you, I guess I felt less alone and
suddenly a bit more courageous and rather impulsively wrote a few
lines
. I hope this helps you understand why I wrote.

Right now my request from you is: If you choose to follow up on the
links I sent you, would you be willing to let me know what you think of
it? And another request: If you want to see more vulnerability from me,
would you be willing to elaborate on what you understand by
“vulnerability”? So far I received your request for vulnerability
accompanied by the belief that “vulnerability” is good or even a must.
Hope that sounds doable?

Curiously,

Hilde.

 

Here’s my response.

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One Response

  1. […] Milla — she=he (this is a response to Email from Hilde) "Hi […]

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