the internet isn’t big enough for the two of us

by Milla — she=he

I saw this, and had a wide grin + chuckle, since it reminds me of all the painful bickering and frustrated mis-communication i see and participate in, here-there-&-everywhere, and in an instant made it clear to me, that this is something I’ve felt so many times – when being triggered by someone’s presence or words – and somehow it hadn’t occurred to me before to verbalize it – to take a step away from the pain, get some distance to it and say:

 

“This Internet ain’t big enough for the both of us” πŸ™‚

 


The above is from facebook. A person saying: I’m somewhat shocked that a search on “the internet isn’t big enough for the two of us” only gives three hits. Even when trying with “ain’t” “This internet” “both of us” and so on, it doesn’t get more than seven. WTH?


In my wide-grinned chuckle, I’m contemplating changing the name of the blog from ‘Another scene is possible’ to ‘The internet isn’t big enough for the two of us’ — it might give a more accurate idea of where i’m at in my process of learning nvc, and practicing empathy. There are so many needs screaming in me, and it’s endless, the learning, of bodily sensations; increasing the vocabulary for feelings, and locating the needs (the beautiful beautiful needs) of the ‘mess’ that is me – the person who is slowly re-connecting and re-wiring myself, and hopefully by the end of the year in more harmony and at peace. And how i wish: More Loving.

 

Today’s song: Here There & Everywhere – The Beatles

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5 Responses

  1. Hello Milla,
    I felt such warmth and happiness watching this video. I thought of you while watching it and wanted to share this warmth with you:

    With care and love,

    • thanks for sharing mitsiko. i get curious what thoughts you had about me while you were watching this video. if you feel comfortable sharing, i’d like to hear πŸ™‚ take care ❀

      i watched the video clip with mixed feelings. it felt strange with (mostly white) men reading these words with a 'weeping' violin in the background – camera moving and zooming to express 'depth' and 'emotion'.

      sometimes i felt touched, but mostly wondering how these words are practiced in their everyday life.

      i wish them well in their endeavors, and still i find it hard to believe that these words would be directed to me – "the woman". [very often in the speech i thought woman to be essentialized to some exotic/holy/supernatural/mother earth-being, having nothing to do with me/i/the imperfect one who go crazy and drink and swear and want things] i've had experiences with 'aware' groups easily adapting attitudes saying (to be clear: that i INTERPRET as) "it's only you! we are respectful and caring of women, but you don't deserve our pretty words cause you are the 'abnormal' woman we are NOT speaking to"

      i signed up on their page consciousmen.com where they are encouraging discussion. maybe i'll join these discussions and see what their practice is like. it bothered me that there was a 'gender' box to check with only two options in the signing up process. i guess that's something i'll ask them about once i figure out where they have their talks.

  2. I did not have “thoughts” about you. πŸ™‚
    My “heart” remembered how you deeply treasure a world where we recognize and honor women.

    With love,

    Mitsiko

    • i feel touched that you’ve received me this way.

      what moves mostly in my heart – is a whispering secret – of how i long to live in a world where all – All – can trust that our needs matter, so there would be no fear in giving and caring – No lack. All love.

      i’m pretty far from that now. and do not have much honor or recognition for anyone – mostly despair. i’m guessing it will take some time before i restore my hope. and i accept that.

  3. Milla,
    I wish you self-care, self-love and self-worth in your healing journey towards fully living in alignment with what you value. I have a deep trust that it will happen.
    With love,

    Mitsiko

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