by milla — she=he
i’m talking with daniel again.
what i would like to hear right now:
“i care about your needs. i don’t see them as a threat to mine. i will express my feelings and needs clearly. if you make a request i will not ignore it or answer it from my own reality deep inside with no map to get on the right path to understand what i mean. i will not leave you stranded by the road signs pointing in 56 directions, i will patiently guide you to what it is that i’m wanting to show with my words, i will not confuse you or leave you guessing to later vent my frustration when you don’t meet my expectations. i will make an effort to connect with you. right now i hear that you are really needing safety and that you’ve made a clear request for how to meet that need.
now i will tell you why answering that request doesn’t meet my need for… ???” [what?]
i meditated today. and burst into tears. i’m in the same hell again. i speak and speak and speak and my words have no meaning. i really want to go through the process of talking about the emc examples with daniel, time and space to speak about really vulnerable aching parts of myself, but it seems as if it’s impossible to get even the simplest things through.
i want a common method and a time line for the talk. something that would make sense for both of us, and daniel is not answering direct questions. i say i want to have a chat to decide time line and method together. and the guy is just saying that “i don’t have time“. “i won’t hinder, but won’t help either“.
daniel doesn’t have time to decide when to have a chat? daniel doesn’t want to hinder a talk on everyday male chauvinism but wouldn’t help it make happen either?
this is so seriously fucked up. again.
the talk i’m talking about can be seen in the comment section of these blogposts: