by Milla — she=he
.Today’s song: Moloko–Bankrupt Emotionally
This is a continuation of this talk: Click here.
Out of coincidence (desperation? curiosity?) came about a conversation between two persons about a past/present not so pleasant. The form and frame of this talk is still taking shape. My suggestions so far has been to speak about the experiences of our relation through the examples given in a text called Everyday Male Chauvinism (emc). I will quote one example after the other in blog posts, and Daniel and I will dialogue in the comment section. Another suggestion I’m making here and now, is for Daniel to be the one to start the talks, since I’m having problems with understanding how a men’s group blocking dialogue with women, seemingly not interested in the women’s perspective, can work out their issues with male supremacy on their own. Therefor, instead of me saying “I felt this and this about that and that”, and possibly getting a “okay, I hear that” as a response, I would like to start with understanding how men can use the EMC text as a tool to understand [the effects of] their behavior without hearing out what the women they are relating to (or actively blocking dialogue with) have to say.
So, if you agree with this Daniel, you are welcome to be the first to give concrete, specific example/s of how/if ‘intimidation’ was manifested in our relation:
This is the borderline between psychic violence and everyday male chauvinism. A manoeuvre that causes fear and which the man uses after he has created his, real or imagined, reputation as a violent or aggressive individual.
The manoeuvre can consist of any threatening sign (look, tone of voice, posture, wording or gesture) through which the man lets the woman know that if she is not obedient “something” will happen. In order to make the signal credible, a power demonstration of physical, sexual or financial nature is needed from time to time.
In the long term, it usually leads to the man achieving that the woman does not want him to do anything when he does not feel like it and so he need not be at the service of anyone but himself.