Jay Blanco #5 (blocking conversation 2)

by Milla — she=he

This is one out of three messages sent to me over facebook. I will comment on them later. I felt disturbed, bewildered and sad when reading them. This is what is:

30 August at 06:19

I believe you thrive on this drama. If only based on the amount of time, space, energy you devote to it.
I believe had I known of the number of specific, disturbing accusations against you (I keep from facespace and so know nothing of its participants’ dramas), I would indeed have kept distance.
I believe you are a danger. To yourself and especially to others.
The depression, anxiety, fear, exhaustion, confusion, embarrassment, terror, sadness, regret (followed by anger) experienced in the last few days I’ve not felt in years (since the last time I came across someone emotionally resembled you, over a decade ago–a male).
I know you will take some time for me to recover from.
I believe, if you’d done your research, if you’d known anything about me at all beyond the ‘notes’ I tagged you in, you’d have realized you were barking up the wrong tree, as my writing, work, choices, actions are in direct opposition to your accusations. Those know me for a day (including online acquaintances), let alone friends I’ve had for decades, know this without question, as when I am in doubt, which is invariably every day, one or the other is there to remind me. I’ve my own personal issues, which I often address and chastise myself for, but ‘stereotyping’, for example, ain’t one. If I’ve specific ‘causes’ I continually champion, the dangers of ‘stereotyping’ anyone or anything is in the top two.
I do not think of you as a stereotype (including ‘crazy’ or other descriptions/labels–of your own and of others–I took issue with), but an anomaly. A deeply troubled individual, regardless of sex, color, orientation, age, nationality, height, schooling, hair color, shoe size, fashion sense, street smarts, trivia knowledge, musical taste or tapdancing talents. Perhaps someone I myself would feel more empathy for if they hadn’t seemed to knowingly, repeatedly, (seemingly) carelessly hurt so many people, myself included. And never once take any responsibility for it in any way whatsoever, let alone try to make an amend.
The perceived ‘bad’ treatment towards you has nothing to do with your gender or politics, but your specific actions, you as an individual.
And I mention(ed) others throughout, not out of spite, but to point out there is indeed a pattern here. It happens one to three times, it might be coincidence. It happens more than that, well–folks are going so far as to block you from facespace and email accounts, and/or contacting Google, Facebook and WordPress webmasters to make complaints, and/or banning you from sites and functions (with or without your knowlesge), it means there’s a problem.
If there be any part of you cares about, well, anybody else, I’d urge that part to seek immediate help. Counseling, meds, what have you. A genuine take care. A genuine be safe. A genuine suggestion.
If you are that unhappy, change it. I’ll say it till I die: we are not beholden to anything. At any point, we can ‘change the game’.
For my part, I’ve a therapist, I counsel (which teaches and humbles and humanizes me more than it disheartens and depresses me), and I will continue to depend upon sincere and trusted friends, fam, safe acquaintances, community, and my own conscience to thoughtfully, rationally guide, enlighten, inspire, correct, rebuke, support, expand me.
It’s late. And I’m tired. Again, this is all what I believe. Though others agree, it still does not make it fact. For the record. As always.

p.s. ‘Female friends’, etc, because, as the supposed main issue you raised was my being an abusive chauvinist/sexist/misogynist, I was not going to send links to men asking their opinions. Alas, response of these women (with regard to that specific query) after reading material was no, and to my question, ‘Did I do ANYTHING wrong?’, two answered ‘You engaged in correspondence with her.’
So… no more.
I’ll leave the last 40,000 words to you (though I’m sure ¼ of them will be my own, as you pick apart these words for supposed meaning, in actuality doing what you did to the person who left the comment I opened this response with).

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