by Milla — she=he
In my everyday life I engage in shitty communication with other human beings:
“it’s as if i’m trapped in a game where i have no way of knowing the rules, and the judgments fall down on me as a steady rain.
it’s as if i’m asking questions to the rain: “Why? What can I do? Could you tell me?” But the rain just keeps falling. mixing with my tears.”
.. as I wrote in a letter to a person calling me aggressive and pushy and saying that they don’t want to talk with me.
So, my plan this year -my only plan for this year- is to grasp the basics of nvc in practice.
2) Where do you live?
3) Are you active in the social change arena? In what way? How has NVC
been helpful to you in your social change work?
I’m a radical feminist. Anarchist. Activist. Blogger. I’ve done basic
workshops on Feminist Self Defense, Methods of Domination, Theater of
the Oppressed, Consensus .. and such. I’m not very organized. What I
do is fairly random.
Most of the time I’m in conflict with people. Which mostly makes me
feel isolated, disconnected and depressed. I guess this is how NVC
entered my life. I need some such method to be able to cope with this
‘conflict-seeking’ lifestyle of mine. I like the theory, and I haven’t
yet gotten a grip of the practice. I still blame/pass judgment and
feel blamed in interaction with others. (So I’m still very much in
pain :p )
I’ve made the decision to learn nvc -at least some- this year. So far
it has helped me in the way, that it gives me hope — and it’s enabled
me to see where I can work on myself and improve in ways I would find
useful and healing.
Pieces of my non-nvc life online >>
Feminist Self Defense: http://www.myspace.com/feminist_sister
4) How did you hear about this list?
I’ve read M. Rosenberg’s book “Nonviolent Communication“, plus some
other texts, I just started reading a book on mediation. I’ve watched
videos on youtube dealing with the basic skills (how to express
observations, feelings, needs, requests).
There is a group practicing nvc in Helsinki, and I’ve just joined, but
there won’t be many meetings over the summer, and I’m eager to learn
in interaction with others, so that’s why I’ve started looking for
online communities. I hope to learn more by joining this group.
6) How can this group contribute to your life?
I hope to see and learn how nvc works in practice. As well as learn
from other sensibilities the members of this group have (since it’s a
forum for social change :.)
7) What topics would you want us to address?
Anything in general. Conflicts, and how to deal with them, in particular.
8.) Would you be willing to have your responses posted to the group as
Last year’s troubles they shine up so prettily
They gleam with a luster they don’t have today
Cause here it’s just dirty and violent and troubling etc.
But trouble is still trouble and evil still evil
Sometimes we wonder; is there more now, or less?
If we had a tool or could tally the handfuls
Measure for measure it’s the same would be my guess
Suzanne Vega – Last Year’s Troubles
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