by Milla — she=he
I’m very grateful for the work that Hilde and ‘Fremath’ are putting into this exercise. It’s reassuring to get feedback and support in learning the basic nvc process (stating: Observations; locating Feelings; understanding Needs; formulating: Requests).
But no Observations, Needs or Requests for now. Back to the heavily judgmental Jackal Show. Once more, with feelings 🙂
“3. List the Feelings: Go back over what you’ve written. What are the feelings behind all this? Make a list. List all of the feelings but don’t use the jackal words that imply blame such as; bullied, ignored, cheated, betrayed, abandoned, victimized… Use only honest descriptive feeling words that describe what is going on in your body now such as; sad, frightened, angry, worried, confused, anxious, resentful, overwhelmed, bitter, jealous, etc… Use the Feelings List and pick out all the words that describe the way you really feel.”
I hate that stuck up ignorant asshole, A. Judge – I mean the name says it all – the guidelines for the forum is a mess and the people on it are sheep.
Feelings: …Frustrated – Angry – Appalled – Despair – Afraid – Lonely.
There’s no fairness or justice.
Feelings: …Weary – Scared – Tired.
One ignorant dictator saying one thing as the truth not having to prove anything.
Feelings: …Hostile – Apprehensive – Horrified.
The people on the list are unaware of their judgmental attitude.
Feelings: …Pessimistic – Worried – Lonely – Shame.
And that there is judgmental guilt tripping going on.
Feelings: …Uneasy – Shame – Nervous – Tired – Troubled.
And that it’s said over and over again “Are you aware that the guy is losing money” as if I’m some “case” “benefiting” and “ungrateful” not “valuing” this self-righteous Dick head enough.
Feelings: …Envious – Resentful – Suspicious – Upset – Worn Out – Enraged – Shame – Bad.
As if I would have anything to learn from that Stupid, lying, manipulative Male Chauvinist.
Feelings: …Alarmed – Afraid – Resentful – Bored – Envious – Dislike – Disgust.
Feelings: …Enraged – Despair.
Completely ignoring me and then trying to force intimacy as if I’m breaking some “RULE” by not feeling okay, having to FIGHT to be heard in order to get my needs met.
Feelings: …Envious – Miserable – Sour – Infuriated – Worn Out.
Scared little shit!
Feelings: …Afraid – Impatient.
I have a need for LEARNING and I can’t do that without reciprocity.
The guy is INSANE and I’m asked to deal with it as if it’s “normal” as if I have no pain as if my pain is not real as if it’s a burden.
Feelings: …Enraged – Envious – Impatient – Embittered – Revolted – Mad – Reluctant.
I’m tired of having to be a “grown-up”. I just want to scream and scream and scream.
Feelings: …Reluctant – Worn Out – Infuriated – Resentful – Envious.
Cause they are not going to change. They will not make the effort.
Feelings: …Worn Out – Helpless – Hopeless – Unhappy – Skeptical – Pessimistic – Lonely – Frustrated.
To read the next part of this exercise: Click here.