“Feminist” men (Interlude)

by Milla [she=he]

I told Aron to back the fuck off. To leave me space to deal with what I clearly expressed is offensive and emotionally upsetting material. Male chauvinism. — I went Mental CRAZY when we chatted, and I will make blog posts explaining it further, starting within a week ***— The guy is doing Absolutely Nothing herself to put the text together. But is instead taking enjoyment in Repeatedly posting offensive stuff before I even get the chance to take a rest, and look through the material, and collect enough Energy: Energies Needed to make the Effort to explain the Impossible — The guy is behaving like a jerk. A total jerk.

To quote the guy:

“you have been totally disgracing dfmeinism

by usiong these word sin vain

calling things sexist when they are not”
— Aron Anton Embleton, Anti-sexist man

“the experience is all in your head”
— Aron Anton Embleton, Anarchist man

“yes you a what you call a reversed sexist”
— Aron Anton Embleton, Feminist man

I posted the thing below on the guy’s facebook wall. I doubt it will stay up. I’m not allowed to comment. Well, well. What kind of feminism is that? She has no problem going after other men, and collecting praise from women for the heroic efforts made. But a woman with complaints?

The guy chose to write a private comment to me on chat instead, telling me to “show respect”, or else… No negative comments made on her facebook wall. It would disrupt her image. “Have Some Respect”.

Or else.

How about: No more patriarchal oppressive bullshit. Or else. Or else I will just break down. Go mad. Hate the world. Or else. Orelse, was the name of a lovely child who knew nothing of Gender related power structures. Orelse was a happy child. She grew up, speaking freely without shame. She felt listened to. She felt loved, and How She Loved. The world was beautiful. Oppression was a thing of the past. Orelse was free – and she loved her freedom, and she shared her freedom in harmony, in understanding. Orelse Never Had An Insane Day In Her Entire Life.

Not like me. The struggling feminist. Who can’t get any messages accross. Whose feelings mean nil and nothing. Whose “comrades” say: Only In Your Head.

Yes. And I wish we could live it. Not just think it. It’s all in my head. The beauty we could experience. But what I say with words, can not be made real. Orelse is a figment of my imagination. I live in a different world. I Never Had A Sane Day In My Entire Life.

This blog post is an Interlude following >> Hot Topic – Feminist Men #1. I recommend reading the comments to that blog post. In the comment section Orelse is far inside my mind. Nowhere to be found.

*** Feb 3, 2010. I figured there’s no stress in my life to do anything at all apart from quitting coffee drinking and dealing with whatever insecurities I have. So – after spending days and days of pointless arguing.. I will push this in the future, and do whatever seems sensible to me in order to get over all the disturbing shit i face on a daily basis. Sexism will never end, so it’s not as if there won’t be more of this shit coming my way. In other words: No stress. I’ll deal with this — Later.

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14 Responses

  1. I think this is a good example of what I gave an illustration of before.

    “The guy is doing Absolutely Nothing herself to put the text together”

    God what a surprise Milla, why aren’t I helping you publish a private conversation we had that you recorded behind my back and are publishing against my will.

  2. by Milla

    my ideas on why you are not doing the work:

    because to you the expression “the personal is political” does not bear the same meaning as to me,

    and you said that you were ashamed of your male privileged behavior, and that you didn’t want it to be made public. you said it was disgusting.

    and then you went back to saying that there hadn’t been any male chauvinism going on. and that i’m making it public to hurt you and punish you. [a point of view i don’t share with you.]

    i guess you believe in these things. and that these are you reasons. you feel that something really unjust and horrible is happening to you. and that i have no respect for you as a human being. that i can’t see the goodness in you. and that i should be more rational and reasoning. make an effort to understand you better. [this is what i assume.]

    i guess your reason as well is that you don’t have any empathy with me. [since you continue displaying oppressive behaviors] and maybe as well feel that you have some sort of (self)image to maintain, that would get damaged if the things that happened between us in private, that i felt were abusive, and you not, if this is put in a space where people could have a look, and see, and decide for themselves if they think i make sense or not, if they think you are behaving not okay and as a programmed robot well-trained and housebroken by the system, or if they think it’s all about me just being distorting and misinterpreting and so on. maybe you are afraid that if there are more people looking at it. then maybe your reality wouldn’t hold. and you would have to change.

    if this is the case: i think you need not fear. people don’t believe me in general. and what i see and feel is not real to most people. so you will get a lot of understanding and sympathy. and you can keep your self-image intact. i think the chances are very low that i would manage to convey my reality to you in any convincing way. i think the chances are very low for understanding.

    there are plenty of people like you in the world. plenty of people thinking and feeling and experiences reality in the same way. you are not alone. there are plenty of people sharing your values. there are plenty more people who do some sort of feminism or anarchism who believe in what you believe in. either that it’s not up to the person oppressed to have a right to define a situation as uncomfortable or oppressive. or that this discomfort should not be made public if it happened in a private sphere.

    i disagree with this. i do not ask for abuse. so if i can not choose how or when or where it happens. if i am not made to have any control over that. if the oppressor does not ask me – then i don’t feel that the oppressor has any say on how or when or where the abuse is talked about. it’s bringing control back to the person oppressed. that’s what i feel is the fair thing to do.

  3. I wonder if Aron knows his comments and Milla’s insane rants are being reposted here?: http://SexistManAlive.com

  4. by Milla

    Hello Pozorovani (Or should i just call you Master?)

    Why do you call what Aron says “comments”
    and why do you call what I say “insane rants”?

    I find your communication style unfair and oppressive.

    How would could I get you to engage in a fair dialogue, where you could express your concerns clearly?

    AND
    ============
    For Person’s Not Dismissing What I Say As Insane Rants
    >> Master Suppression Techniques
    http://eng.kilden.forskningsradet.no/c53296/artikkel/vis.html?tid=53283&strukt_tid=53296

    >> And how to neutralize them
    http://www.women2top.net/uk/facts/tools/Women_ppt_pdf/Dom_tecnics.pdf

    There is plenty more of that type of material online. Just make a search.

  5. Milla

    I just read your own words:

    ‘I went Mental CRAZY’
    ‘Or else I will just break down. Go mad.’
    ‘I Never Had A Sane Day In My Entire Life.’

  6. by Milla

    Pozorovani,

    And how do you respond to me saying that your way of speaking on this blog is creating an oppressive atmosphere for me?

  7. the expression, the personal is political, as well as the master suppression techniques etc, are all things i very much believe in, i just don’t agree that what is happening here is master suppression, or sexism, and i think as i’ve said before that you have a real nerve using feminism to explain or defend your abusive behaviour.

    the personal is political does not mean that people have no right to privacy.

    i agree that if someone is abusive to you in private then they lose their right to privacy, however i haven’t been abusive to you, in fact i’ve bent over backwards to be sensitive to you.

    which is why i said that everything you said was right and that i was sorry, because after the heat of the argument was over, i thought to myself that you are obviously going through a lot of shit which is why you’re behaving like this, and so since points of debate are not important next to your mental health which you told me i was damaging by upsetting you via the argument, i thought it would be the mature and considerate thing to do to acknowledge everything you said and apologise for it so that you would feel better, thinking that if you were ever to come to appreciate things as i think they are, then the place to do that from would be a happier more secure time in your life, which i am not going to help you get to by just arguing with you until you become massively upset.

    i’m not ashamed of what ive written in terms of the debate, what i’m embarressed by is what ive just outlined above, the fact that i make an abject cringing apology to you, and then obviously later when i find out that you have recoreded everything and are going to publish it, then i have to tell you i was lying, which can’t put me in a very good light, especially since to achieve my purpose effectively, that is, to succeed in making you feel better, i had to really fake it, which will obviously make me look false and two faced as a person.

    though like i said, it wasnt all fake, in that the emotion was real, because i did actually feel very guilty, i started imagining what all your hints could have meant, all the shit you might have gone through, and then me not taking those hints and being sensitive, but just focusing on the actual debate instead of on you getting upset, feeling unwell, and having your mental health suffer, to the extent that i even cried, what an idiot i can be.

    but though thats over the top, i still do feel bad, because i think you mustnt have had a very easy ride, however patronising that sounds of me to say, and i still do regret not just dropping the issue as soon as it was clear you were getting upset and you werent going to get what i was saying, that i didnt put your well being ahead of my desire to get the point across to you.

    so im sorry milla, and if you want to be friends, i’d like to be too

  8. by Milla

    Yes, Ladies, Gentlemen & Cuddly Creepy Crawlies! — Here comes an open expression of female incredulous anger >>

    ARON SAID:
    “i started imagining what all your hints could have meant, all the shit you might have gone through, and then me not taking those hints and being sensitive”

    HINTS??!!

    Condescending degrading sexist piece of shit… A HINT??!!

    Fuck off… A HINT??!!

  9. i think you might have got the wrong end of the stick, i wasn’t talking about you hinting that you felt my behaviour was sexist and abusive etc, you have told me that very clearly, i was talking about you hinting about hard experiences in your life.

    • by Milla

      Aron. I think you were making assumptions about me being upset because of something “happening before”, and not that there was something seriously not okay happening in the moment. And that you were a part of causing that pain. Several hours of discussion with a sexist man usually doesn’t lead to anything good.

      Aron – You are a hard experience in my life. Right now. You have heaps of patriarchal thinking and you’re sending it my way, saying that i “don’t get it”. When I would say you’re beating the shit out of me with your stick.

      Yes. I’m on the wrong end of it. And I’m trying to explain what it feels like. But if there’s no empathy in the one holding the stick, then it’s kind of impossible to make that situation real somehow. I will to you and Pozorovani just be going on in La La land with my “insane rants”. Stick people win. Stick people are right.

  10. i know you were upset by the conversation, but you also told me that you had had hard experiences, and you hinted at others, and it is these i’m referring to.

    regards beating with a stick, i think it’s the other way round, and i’ve given reasons for that, so i’ll wait now, for yours.

  11. Shitfaced is what I am. Cool blog u got there!

  12. Do some more discussion on this topic, please, (I’m too drunk to partcipitate) but I liek reading whatever I receive!

  13. I am too stupid to stay quiet so the reality I am trying to project on others always comes out in two or more pieces.. I’m too drunk!
    Let’s start a home for people liek me with mental issues ( please give me an important position and make me famous because my talent is all about making an effort and drinking and throwing dirt and being nervously overbearing). Let’s start an institution for us, the people that need revenge on life! 🙂

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