I’m a human being. And I’m pissed off, tired and sad. I’ve just been seriously ignored. And I don’t like that. I sent a request, a proposal to join a discussion on a mailing list, where I was being talked about [..and have been talked about for weeks, months, years!]. I figured that most people would be interested in hearing more sides to the story before making up their minds on how to think about something.
Or is Milla really that sexist, dangerous for the community, unfair in discussions, rude, violent, mentally ill as some people say? How about hearing me out before you decide?
How about recognizing the power that is there in blocking a certain point of view from being expressed? How about recognizing the power that is there in being able to express your feelings and opinions openly in a space where other voices have no say – where some voices are not allowed to enter? Are you really willing to support a system that shuts out voices of dissent? A system where only one truth can be told?
in the name of free speech and horizontal decision making
to get some kind of consensual feel to the way people talk in this group
it would be nice to try to please as many wishes and needs as possible
in order to get more sides to the story
Milla and Pre Kaarina would like to join this group
and engage in a discussion on internal hierarchies and exclusion.
and in order for everybody to feel safe and heard,
this would only be an experiment lasting for a week.
during which persons who have expressed disinterest in the discussion,
or fear of being outed on the internet could stay silent.
after the week is over,
everything would go back to normal. (milla and Pre Kaarina out
again, after getting heard. and the silent ones get to talk without
getting heard by milla.)
suggestion on HOW TO deal with the proposal:
First of all someone volunteers – or is suggested by someone else – as facilitator. If there are no objections to this/these individual/s performing this task, then this/these person/s continue as follows:
— “This is the proposal, is there something that is unclear to anybody?”
1. After the proposal has been presented there could be a weeks time to collect clarifying questions (if there’s something that someone doesn’t understand – if there’s something that’s unclear why this proposition would be good for the group etc. It’s important that everybody understands the proposal before making a decision on it)
the questions are passed on to me, so that I – as the person who made the proposal – can try to make what it is i’m suggesting clear to everybody.
— “The proposal seems to be clear to everybody, since there are no more questions on it. Are there any concerns in relation to the proposal?”
2. Then, when the proposal is clear as crystal it’s time to get concerns out in the open. The people raising the concerns [objections, problems] also take active part in working on solutions that could suit the needs of everybody (mine and theirs and others — the group).
The concerns can be listed (by the facilitator), and related concerns can be grouped together. 3. After this it’s time to look for solutions together. Possible ways of resolving problems in relation to the proposal are discussed and checked one by one if the suggestions work or not.
If there are any suggestions for amendments (small friendly changes on the proposal) these could be passed on to me, after which i say if i’m okay with it or not, after which the thing is passed back to the group to check if there are any objections left or if there’s consensus on the proposal.
— “Are there any more objections, concerns?”
If not. Then there’s consensus.
From A Finnish Childrens’ Song:
Piiri pieni pyörii,
lapset siinä hyörii,
sitten paikoillensa jää.
Piiri pieni pyörii,
lapset siinä hyörii,
vallan niin kuin vanhemmat.
Some sort of translation:
The small circle is turning, the children in it are being busy, saying hello to each other, and then staying in their places.
The small circle is turning, the children in it are being busy, standing sternly, just as their parents. [‘just as their parents’ can also be translated ‘power in the same way as the parents’]
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