An outsider about the Morze Infoshop

Posted by Daniel

It is really nice to get fresh, outsider opinions when you are so deep in shit that you cannot really look out of it. I had a lot of trouble in the past dealing with my own submissive behavior regarding internal hierarchies of left alternative atmospheres and supporting exclusionary behavior (i still do today) so i find it extremely important to try to reflect. I publish the following in hopes of getting through to some people who appear to be an impenetrable concrete wall to me.

Enjoy!

(D is a good friend who visited Budapest really shortly and is an outsider to the left alternative scene in general)

D: and i feel down whenever i think about maria.

seems she won. she can have Budapest for herself.

and the infoshoppppp

she’ll be rich and smart and owning in the future!

me: no

D: i hate this..not talking over a problem and then all of a sudden ‘hello’ email, like nothing happened. things dont work this way, not with me, not anymore

me: Budapest and the infoshop doesnt belong to Maria

and i dont think she will get rich or anything

D: i think she is very protective of this group.

me: i know

D: and consantly changing mind in basic things. i never know what she thinks, what she..ah.

yes

i couldnt even sign up to the mailing list

she influeced me in a way that i finally resigned out of this idea

she said: ah its not worth it, i wanna save your time on this bullshit.

yes somehow ppl read what Milla says, what she writes

then they ignore her or write nasty stuff about her

but they READ. they read it like entertainment.

she is not sick, she is just trying to fight injustice, the way she knows, the methods she knows.

nevermind, i am bittered about maria

everyone says they dont care

yet they liek having those power positions

or how you call them.

i dont wanna know ppl like this

thats why i dont wanna be in this stupid Alert here either.

me: aha

but power is everywhere

D: one way or the other. for me its simple

me: you need to deal with it

thats how you make the revolution

if you want a better job and car and house and husband all those things are also about power

D: so what i should be Milla the second? go to Bp and say what i hate about Infoshop?

how maxigas ignored my emails, how maria is overprotective? how Hajni ignores my emails too?

this is ridiculous

those ppl have their right to their lives

if they dont want any new ppl there whom they dont feel safe with – so be it.

i should look for another group then.

and maybe i dont fit them anyway

sorry a bit frustrated here

me: no

you are totally right

that is what im also mad about

that the group is totally exclusive

it does not make me well

D: well, your methods maybe are a bit radical to many, but youre the only open person from this group.

yes it is

also if i may say smth about Maria

i think she is very clever

she gathers information from ppl

tried ot be friendly with everybody

then she sums up and brings out the common denominator

and on this basis she acts.

to keep her in power

i know she is weak sometimes too, i know she has doubts. but all in all she is more powerful than i thought.

she is very bright, very clever

and thats why i think she will get rich or powerful.

i think nobody knows real Maria.

sorry to admit this, but Milla was right here. i dont know how i could be so blinded

i have a lot of negative feelings about maria.

and you were right too

fuck again..

pedestal.

now its gone again

i hate this

me: what has gone?

D: so, i should stay away from people, power etc

me: pedestal?

D: for me the most important things are build in silence, peace and quiet, not in the lights of jupiter!

yes ive put maria on a pedestal

and i denied, even though you told me i would.,

me: well i told you if you want to stay away from power than you have to avoid society… cause hierarchies cannot be magically suspended only worked on

D: i still create pictures of ppl in my head too fast,

well sorry but there is zero work on hierarchy in infoshop ppl

or maybe there is but i dont know nothing about it

but your group is very closed

unfortunately it is like this with many groups

and the richer, the hierarchy is bigger and harder to fight

i know, im not saying anything new..

its just..new for me because i realized this.

also hierarchy at my work, at my room

when i started to ‘show teeth’, ppl are more careful with me too.

i cannot be nice, because ppl use it. i have to be nasty!

me: well… or you can be always nice

that confuses ppl 🙂

but nobody can keep it up 😛

D: rarely someone can

and those ppl are not valued

usually

i used to say hello to everyone even guys

not anymore

and the typical sexist behavior is here also

and the typical homophobia every day

tiring. anyway

i think i prefer environment and greenery

ppl just hurt each other

trees dont

Advertisements

10 Responses

  1. by Milla

    I appreciate seeing the open critique. Very often I feel I’m crazy, cause I’m the only one speaking about the things in public.

    I wish we could all talk openly about everything. No need to hide in shame when we’re not feeling okay.

  2. clever – admin deletes ll the comments that explain the truth

    • by Milla

      Hmm. Cool that the usual paranoia within the scene thrives… I was also surprised that the comments from “Dana from Poland” had disappeared. I would guess that she for some reason didn’t want to have the statements made anymore where she was saying that

      A) she was upset when she had been talking in this chat
      B) she was apologizing to Maria, Maxigas and Hajni (the in group) for saying the things she did, saying that they have a right to ignore her if they want to, not reply to her mails.
      C) she was upset with Daniel for publishing the chat without asking her for permission, saying that this was “PERSONAL”
      D) said that she had been drunk when she had been doing the chat

      E) made a statement to Daniel saying that it was not submissive to write these comments
      F) told me that she had tried to talk Daniel into meeting me, and Daniel had said no
      G) told Daniel and me not to ever contact her again.

      111 – did i forget anything?
      Of course the above is only a sum-up from myself – Milla – one of the persons with access to delete and approve comments on this blog (and the only one doing it i guess). So far I have never deleted any comments. There is a spam filter, I’ve never checked what comments end up there, so by accident – if the comment has more than two links for example – it’s possible that it has ended up not being published.

      A clever critic gives specified criticism, otherwise the criticism is completely obscure and means nothing to the ones who happen to come across it.

      I’m just assuming that you – 111 – are referring to the comments that Dana made. Am i correct?

      If i forgot something in the sum-up, then you should feel free to add whatever is missing. Your comments will not be deleted. I assure you. Unless you delete them yourself.

  3. Dana was getting angry at me for publishing it, cause she didnt want to hurt Maria this way, but then she said she agrees with the things that we were talking about so its ridiculous to make excuses for it….
    so:

    SHE ASKED ME TO REMOVE THE COMMENTS AND AFTER SHORT HESITATION I DID… BUT FORGOT TO ADD THIS AS AN EXPLANATION… SORRY

  4. by Milla

    Dani who posted this text is full of bullshit when the guy is saying:


    power is everywhere

    you need to deal with it

    thats how you make the revolution

    https://sosiaalikeskus.wordpress.com/2009/12/03/hetero-man-in-poly-power-trip-land/

    https://sosiaalikeskus.wordpress.com/2010/01/13/stacy-milla-17/

    in the second link: click and READ the text EVERYDAY MALE CHAUVINISM if you are in contact with this man.

    THIS MAN IS NOT DEALING WITH IT.

  5. Replying to comments made seven months ago?

    this is obsession.

    • by Milla

      “pozorovani” doing some self-reflection… “Replying to comments made seven months ago? this is obsession.”

      yeah. it is kind of fucked up that you are obsessively following the blog, so that when i post a WARNING on ALL of Dani’s postings for anybody who might come across it [and i should gooddamn post it INSIDE the post, and not on the CORNER of it!!]

      then you apparently search it out and make a fucked up comment about it.

      showing that your solidarity is not with women hurt by this guy. not with women abused by this guy and fighting back in self-respect. but in this supreme belittling tone, you who are OBSESSED and REPLY to a comment made on a post written by A SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP >> A B U S I V E << GUY and then find it really important to put me down in taking myself seriously and what i experienced seriously and taking other women experiencing the same thing seriously. THAT WHAT THIS GUY HAS TO OFFER: IT IS NOT LOVE. IT IS NOT OKAY.

      and your comment SUCKS. you SUCK!

  6. by Milla


    Milla
    you broke it up with this guy how long ago? and you are still ranting about him?

    this is either obsession or you are deranged.”

    pozorovani.

    hi.

    start your own blog. be mean to people in some other space. i don’t like your way of speaking to me. it does nothing constructive for me. i want you far away from me.

    we live in very different realities. and they will never meet when you speak to me in this way. “rant” “obsessed” “deranged”. you have access to my point of view. and my feelings. i think that’s enough. if you then want to prove what a fucked up society we live in and cause additional harm with one-liners.

    i feel i want to make it known to you. that this is what you do. when you write those uncaring one or two sentences. this is yet another bully in my life. in my space. and for some reason you enjoy that. enjoy causing me harm. staying distant while you push my head in the toilet and flush.

    i’ve seen your type of people around many times. and wish you would leave. i wish you would stop reading my feelings and thoughts and experiences, and just leave. or at least: stay silent.

  7. […] An Outsider About The Morze Infoshop […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: