An open request for Maxigas to initiate important talks

by Milla

This blog post is an open request for Maxigas to initiate important talks including sexism, hierarchies, and exclusion within herself, her networks and her surroundings. It’s a request for her to include the voice she excluded: Myself. Milla.

It’s a response to a private mail written to me, saying that I’m putting her and her peers at risk by witnessing openly on this blog of what’s going on and what’s going wrong within her collectives.

How the hell do we build bridges instead of barricades?

How the hell do we build bridges instead of barricades?

Maxigas, this is a request for an open honest talk, on

sexism
hierarchies
exclusion and
safety and
safer spaces

within Morze InfoShop and the Common Flat

expressed in a letter written by Milla,
supported by Daniel.

The concerns raised by Daniel are expressed in the chat
following the letter.

STRUCTURE:
1. Chat with Daniel and Milla
2. Letter by Milla
3. Chat with Daniel and Milla

the following chats include a mark for a “talking stick” >>   –

and “direct response, short comment” >>  %

PART 1: CHAT, DANIEL AND MILLA

me: could you give some comments on what thoughts feelings came up reading maxigas email?
Dániel: not much
like
yea yea security paranoia shit
we have to talk it out
with ppl who have access to the flat
me: could we use a talking stick. please.
Dániel: then start using it
me: okay so. you were finished with your thoughts on maxigas letter?

Dániel: kylla [kyllä meaning “yes” in finnish]

me: okay. when i read the email sent to the pga list.
i don’t know if you read that one. i can pass it on.
anyways. this was clear blaming and self-pity in it.
“I’ve tried to deal with milla in this and that way.
3 conversations involving different ppl”
even though most of those “conversations” have been
“i don’t want to talk with you”
(which you also do. we should talk about how you and i daniel should talk with each other)
and then sending this email.
saying that i will cause everyone to be in danger
but that she “had chosen to share this info”
because i’m one of them…
kind of.
like i feel that it’s not only security paranoia
but also about wanting to control me
that i should remove her name in relation to what she’s been taking part in doing.

Dániel: % security is always about control

me: –
sorry
eeh. i mean
i as someone who she has denied talking about all this sexism and exclusion with.
feel super bothered that she’s talking about us being on the same side of the barricades.
when i dont see it that way
feeling super unsafe walking around there all by myself
amongst the “antifascist” not being willing to do anything about
what’s happening within.

—–

me: the main point being. that i feel super bothered by this patronizing
“friendly” “concerned” email that maxigas wrote.

——-

and i would like to sort out the maxigas thing now.

Dániel: what is there to sort out?

me: that i would feel superdooper not so fucking alone in this
if we wrote something to maxigas together.
a few sentences.
depending on if you can understand what it feels like for me to get an email from a person who’s been supercontrolling in not getting a real conversation happening
about the exclusion
based on paranoid fear of
women
misogyny
(dont even know how to spell it…)

Dániel: ok then write it and i can say if i like it or not

me: how about.

Dániel: % how about what?

PART 2: THE LETTER FROM MILLA


Maxigas,

I feel really sad and shaken by the way you have avoided a talk on the paranoid misogyny that you’ve expressed and spread in your surroundings. The letters you’ve written to me have affected me badly. You really need to make a talk happen on this. I know Daniel is skeptic on that stating anything like this would make a difference in your approach on how to listen to persons expressing criticism and discomfort related to behavior that you are responsible and should be accountable for.

Your recent letter to the PGA list, once again avoiding accountability, and escaping the situation, as well as blaming me for it, not knowing how to “deal with Milla”, even though to me it’s still clear that you’ve used the moments we met, to block out any constructive conversation about what has happened.

The letter sent to me in private, asking me to erase information about what has been going on within the Morze Infoshop and the Common Flat, is an insult. Trying to with reasons of “security” block out my side of the story.

I resent your way of deciding what opinions I should have, without first talking the different standpoints through.

So before any actions are taken, I suggest we talk it through.
When and where?

Milla

a piece of the letter that was taken out, but that i still stand behind, and am willing to explain:

And, I think you should also have a talk with persons in use of the Common Flat about this fear of yours, before you start asking me to do anything on behalf of their “safety”. I feel you are once again behaving in the same way that you were when you saw to it that I would not have access to the space that you’ve said to be “anti”-fascist, but that I find to be in the powerful grips of the worst kind of fascists: The ones who’ve proclaimed to be on the “right” side of the “barricades”, and therefore think you are beyond any criticism.

PART 3: CHAT, DANIEL AND MILLA (with Daniels concerns)

and that’s it i guess.
are you still there?
Dániel: % aha
me: so would you have anything to add? anything you disagree on?

Dániel: not willing to co-sign it
2 reasons
1. saying lengthily that maxigas is “worst kind of fascist” and then suggesting to talk is a bit contradictory if you really want to talk to him… cause he is not going to talk to you this way
left out a “the”
2. still there is too much “i” perspective in it
its “your” letter
its not a problem
but then why dont you send this the way it is
and let me talk to him like i originally wanted to?


me: suggestions:
1. you could change the text in order to bring a more bridge-building aspect to it
2. or you said you wouldn’t co-sign it. but maybe you could write in support of daniel? adding the concerns you just stated?
3. other?

Dániel: yea maybe you can send the letter with a note that you showed it to me
and include the comments i made
1, 2

% that is already holding it back
” ”
me: i don’t understand “holding it back”?
and it would be needed to be sent through your email. cause the guy has blocked me.


Dániel: its ok
will go shit (ate too much pasta ice-cream)
me: % i still didnt understand holding back?
Dániel: holding back?

me: Dániel: yea maybe you can send the letter with a note that you showed it to me
and include the comments i made
1, 2

% that is already holding it back
” ”
me: i don’t understand “holding it back”?
.

Dániel: you mentioned bridge building
i understood it as not saying: you are a fascist pig… lets talk! 😛
so the comments included
they soften
they build the bridge

me: okay i will put the stuff in an email. then i will send it to you. and if it looks okay, then you can send it to both me and maxigas from your email account, cause yes. i trust no-one and i would feel more safe in knowing that it’s sent.okay?
Dániel: hyvaa [hyvä means “good” in finnish.]

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