It’s very confusing to be part of a “movement” that state to be fighting for a social centre but never talk about what a social centre is for. [except for the talking heads doing the usual “a place for anybody to realize themselves” gah gah for the media, there’s not really any internal discussion going on on this issue.] The same goes for making proud statements about being against sexism, but never having any discussions about what sexism is. The word being used in a variety of ways.
And any person indicating that sexism might have anything to do with a power system keeping men above women, is viewed by most as crazy. And also ‘hurting’ men. Being ‘sexist’ towards men. Criticism towards a male person, behaving in a sexist manner, is most often viewed as ‘personal attacks’. There is currently no safe way to bring up the issue for any person experiencing discomfort in the movement because of sexism. We end up being scrutinized and silenced.
With Dominant #4 – Micke Brunila – it’s been particularly exhausting discussing the issue of sexism, since she’s been using every piece of feminist theory and reversed the meaning of it, victimizing herself in relation to me. On the traveling we did together I wished for her to get an understanding of Power of Definition and Partiality in order to understand what was happening in our relation. Immediately after she read it she tried to use it against me. Behaving like a sulky kid, and saying that I should support her in her reality because she had felt hurt when I had asked her to clean the kitchen, and then when she had done a fairly sloppy job at that, I resolutely went and cleaned it myself, since I had been tired of trying to explain anything to this person, incapable of taking any kind of negative statement or feeling from my side (women should always smile and be happy. never complain. not when we’re with mr. Perfect-can-do-nothing-wrong).
So me, cleaning the kitchen, and not behaving like a smiling and comforting walking talking bosom to this man-child, had been a ‘boundary violation’ to her, and she wanted me to support her in her ‘Power of Definition’. I was disgusted by this behavior. This way of using feminist theory to twist it in favor of the privileged (white, middle class, man). Power of Definition that should be used for the weak. In support of the ones whose reality is silenced and denied.
Power of definition and Partiality. —- Power of definition: The affected person has the right to define what is to be considered as a violation of their boundaries. They have a right to define a situation as oppressive according to how they’ve experienced it. —- Partiality: The person who is regarded the affected person is the one who, considering structural power relations, is in the oppressed position and who, additionally, considers themselves an affected person. Partiality means positioning oneself with the affected person and supporting their power of definition. —- Revolution could be really easy. Just: Shut up and listen.
Examples of objective structural power positions:
privileged: Human, Adult, Man, White, Able-bodied, Hetero, High Class, Meat-eater
oppressed: Non-human animal, Child, Woman, Non-White, Disabled, Non-hetero, Low Class, Vegan