the woman who’s coming on december 8th to talk about the conflict. answered with an sms stating that she’s not my support person and therefor wouldn’t want to be in mail contact with (d).

and the statement that 19 women supported (with serious factual mistakes about the conflict resolution process) she says that she signed it because she agreed with it. she says that she won’t say who wrote it, cause they all signed it and agreed with it. (which isn’t fully true. cause there are persons who signed, but didn’t agree with everything stated in that mail.) so i guess if not before, then i will find out at the latest december 13th, cause the persons who wrote it, would have to say why they just made things up (or at least explain why they think what they wrote is correct), and then had others signing.)

i just leave it at that. cause she’s probably too angry, or whatever, for me to be able to make any sense by sending an sms. i wouldn’t see it as being a support person for me, by having her share her experience in the conflict with (d). it would support the whole process of trying to resolve this. and it would support (d) in getting more impressions. but i don’t think my words could explain it to her. very often i feel like this with people.

i’m so tired of being in a position where everything i do or say is used to demonize me. and not seen as behavior related to certain contexts. i’m only worthy love if i behave like this or that. and apparently i can do nothing but wrong. i’m bad through and through. this conflict has been really heavy. and i’m looking forward to the day when it’s over.

i’ve been making really dark jokes about a woman who brought up sexual harassment in her workplace. Her name is Lois Jenson and it took her 14 years before she was listened to. her mental and physical health suffered from it. but she made it.


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