i sent some mails around. in the usual desperate random way i do things. reading the decision made for december 13th [ see previous post ] makes me feel ill. it’s difficult to see it from the positive side. that of course people who are not there, could also write positive encouraging statements instead of just supporting the bans for whatever random reasons.
i would see some negative written comments as put on my back to solve. instead of these persons having to make an effort to find out why the hell they find my words and actions so disturbing and uncomfortable. this is the nightmare image coming to mind. the nightmare i’ve been living for the last ten months (or why not say a year. since i felt it right from the start, entering the squat in Elimäenkatu).
and if somebody writes something positive and constructive that that again would be sidestepped, ignored or blocked. there hasn’t been any fairness in this so far. no justice. no willingness to really truly resolve and listen.
well. anyways. contacted this woman in the states, cause i like her facilitation primer
she suggested sticking to a strong format (rather than a weak one)
– for example, a talking stick circle tends to keep people from erupting into arguments
– and focus on everyone involved feeling heard (could be through using tools such as reflective listening)
this person also recommended having a look at
i’m really just wanting to have a break from this now. be a part of a team. knowing that there are people there who care to share their skills and will to change the world we’re living in. i would like for my feelings to be taken into consideration for once.
just for once, that i’m not blamed. that’s the most difficult thing for me. the constant blaming and shaming.
just got a mail, right this instant. with a contact here in finland!
great. maybe they would be able to help out. i know it’s not only ideological differences it’s also cultural differences playing a large part in this conflict. finnish culture is really not about sharing openly. so having some finnish people involved would be really good. (cause even after almost 6 years in this country, i just don’t get the culture. it’s all about isolation and loneliness and drinking. and thinking that being alone would solve the depression that comes from lack of community.)
so, i’ll write to this community in Annikinkatu in Tampere.
they apparently have some experience in dealing with conflict.
but if anybody is reading this, and has any clues of discussion tools, persons to contact etc. please write a comment. it would be ever so appreciated.