So i started this blog. And got a person (H) over to help figure out how to use it. And i guess i will start making stuff with the webcam in some days.
Two persons (I & J) were over at my place. Talking about the conflict. The usual recognition of the power play within the scene. And the usual with me, getting emotional, when once again having to go through a year of self development and heartbreak. But in expressing how stressful and crazy this has been for me. Not thinking about anything else for such a long period. About a year engaged with this. It’s nice to feel that here and there there’s a willingness to deal with this. Not the regular shaming and blaming. More curiosity and sharing.
And not knowing how long it will continue. Or how long i will continue. It doesn’t matter. Happy there are others crazy enough to get engaged with it too. (D) will come at the end of the year. And then this could get more creative and fun. Not the way it is now: slashed and torn.
Oh. Love. The mad passionate kind, playing tricks on me. Seem to be my biggest problem at the moment. I’m too emotional. And unaware. I just need to admit it, and let go. Let go of the selfish hurt of not being understood, and let it lift me up. The way it should be. Really mad. Really passionate. Love.